MeJane's blog by Nadine Nicholson


10 harmful words you can stop telling yourself #mejane

Nadine Nicholson - Wednesday, January 13, 2016
10 harmful words you can stop telling yourself #mejane

“I just need to get out of my own way.”

Have you ever heard yourself say this?

I know I’ve said this to myself.

Many times.

Until recently, that is.

I’ve decided to no longer tell myself to get out of my own way – and I invite you to look at this harmful statement in a new light for yourself.

Here’s why.

Recently, I led a conference call with a small group of business owners in my signature group program.

The program’s focus is to help you envision, plan, execute and troubleshoot your next bold move, complete with accountability and support.

If there’s something you really want next in your business and life, I help you move from talking the talk to actually walking the walk.

When you get clear about what you want and start making it happen, your inner critics are guaranteed to get stirred up and wreak havoc to try to keep you small.

Truthfully, I love when this happens because it’s like a playground for me as a coach.

It’s my wheelhouse.

I love helping you successfully navigate your true self and inner critics while you achieve the next bold move you crave.

In this particular coaching call, a client’s inner critics were all over her. Then, in a moment of clarity, she said this:

“You know what I need to do? I just need to get out of my own way.”

The way she said it lit a fire in me to take a huge stand for her greatness.

When I’m working with my clients, often I’m able to connect directly with their true self and inner critics, and hear exactly what they’re saying.

It’s like I collaborate directly with their true self and have an arm’s length, respectful relationship with their inner critics.

Here’s what happened next.

It was like an out-of-body experience in slow motion that happened in seconds.

My client’s true self literally rose up above the group and spoke directly to me. In a calm, slow, measured voice, she said this:

“Nadine, please hear me. She has all but tuned me out and I can’t get through to her. She does NOT need to get out of her own way. That’s the last thing she needs. What she actually needs is to get out of the way of her inner critics. Her inner critics are not her. They are outside of her. I am her true self. She needs to stay with herself – with me, her true self – not get out of her own way. I need your help to get this through to her, once and for all.”

It was a light bulb moment I will never forget. My client’s true self was exactly right.

I articulated this to her and the light bulb went on for her, too.

She got it. Really, really got it.

Can you relate?

Let’s take it to another level for you. I believe your inner critics are trying to do a job for you. By resisting them, you’ll create more resistance. By being mean or angry, you’ll create more fear.

Here’s another way of handling it that will get you better results.

Instead of resisting your inner critics, show respect and acknowledge them for trying to be of service.

You can even be playful with them and say:

“Hey, I know you’re trying to be helpful right now, but here’s a one-way plane ticket to Fiji. Go away for a while because I really don’t need you right now.”

Their hold on you will shrink and you’ll feel weight lift from your shoulders.

Then, you’re free to get out of their way and allow your true self to move forward.

That’s a choice you GET to make, and it’s much easier when you stop resisting and decide to stay with your true self.

When you’re in the midst of crafting and achieving a big change, it’s nearly impossible to distinguish between your true self and inner critics.

One of my first coaches used to say, “You’re so close to your own tree, it’s impossible to see what’s around you.”

If you have a bold move that you’re ready to make and this feels like a challenging area to navigate on your own, I invite you to connect with me to see if we’re a fit.

The first step is to apply for your own private no-cost 1:1 business strategy session with me valued at $500 here:

We’ll get on the phone and I’ll guide both of us to get more clarity about where you are and what you need the most.

We will see if I’m the right person to help you and if so, we can explore some options to move you forward. If we’re not a fit, I will give you other resources to help you.

Call to Action

Can you relate to this scenario of true self and inner critics? What’s one gem or a-ha moment that could help you in the future? Post a comment and share your thoughts so others can learn from your experience.